My Wedding Report

Alright hive, start buzzing because I need some help. Mr. Ducky and I have been discussing what we want to do for readings during the ceremony. We will be meeting with our officiant (and close friend) tomorrow to talk about the ceremony. I wanted to find in advance some readings that we could think about.

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We have 1 reading that will be very special. When I first moved to Orange County I started working with a 7-year-old autistic boy doing play therapy, social skills building and behavior intervention. The entire family has become family friends and the little boy (now 9) is my best buddy on Friday afternoons. He is constantly teaching me about joy and wonder in a way that only a child can. Well for the wedding I have asked him to read something so that he can be a part of our day. I just am not sure what to have him read?

We will probably have 2-3 readings and I’d like to find something meaningful to put in our program booklet that we are creating.

Here are a few that I really liked while browsing the Weddingbee reading archives late last night.

Union by Robert Fulghum
“You have known each other from the first glance of acquaintance to this point of commitment. At some point, you decided to marry. From that moment of yes, to this moment of yes, indeed, you have been making commitments in an informal way. All of those conversations that were held in a car, or over a meal, or during long walks – all those conversations that began with, “When we’re married”, and continued with “I will” and “you will” and “we will” – all those late night talks that included “someday” and “somehow” and “maybe” – and all those promises that are unspoken matters of the heart. All these common things, and more, are the real process of a wedding.

The symbolic vows that you are about to make are a way of saying to one another, “You know all those things that we’ve promised, and hoped, and dreamed – well, I meant it all, every word.”Look at one another and remember this moment in time. Before this moment you have been many things to one another – acquaintance, friend, companion, lover, dancing partner, even teacher, for you have learned much from one another these past few years. Shortly you shall say a few words that will take you across a threshold of life, and things between you will never quite be the same.
For after today you shall say to the world –
This is my husband. This is my wife.”

Ruth 1:16 -
“Entreat me not to leave you, or to return from following after you, For where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people, and your God will be my God. And where you die, I will die and there I will be buried. May the Lord do with me and more if anything but death parts you from me.”
Cheese talked about this verse awhile back and I thought she phrased it beautifully. Ruth has always been one of my favorite books of the Bible.

I’d like to find something kind of light-hearted for our favorite 9-year-old reader. Not sure that this it, but something like it.
A Lovely Love Story by Edward Monkton
“The fierce Dinosaur was trapped inside his cage of ice. Although it was cold he was happy in there. It was, after all, his cage.
Then along came the Lovely Other Dinosaur.
The Lovely Other Dinosaur melted the Dinosaur’s cage with kind words and loving thoughts.
I like this Dinosaur thought the Lovely Other Dinosaur.
Although he is fierce he is also tender and he is funny.
He is also quite clever though I will not tell him this for now.
I like this Lovely Other Dinosaur, thought the Dinosaur. She is beautiful and she is different and she smells so nice.
She is also a free spirit which is a quality I much admire in a dinosaur.
But he can be so distant and so peculiar at times, thought the Lovely Other Dinosaur.
He is also overly fond of things.
Are all Dinosaurs so overly fond of things?
But her mind skips from here to there so quickly thought the Dinosaur. She is also uncommonly keen on shopping.
Are all Lovely Other Dinosaurs so uncommonly keen on shopping?
I will forgive his peculiarity and his concern for things, thought the Lovely Other Dinosaur. For they are part of what makes him a richly charactered individual.
I will forgive her skipping mind and her fondness for shopping, thought the Dinosaur. For she fills our life with beautiful thoughts and wonderful surprises. Besides, I am not unkeen on shopping either.
Now the Dinosaur and the Lovely Other Dinosaur are old.
Look at them.
Together they stand on the hill telling each other stories and feeling the warmth of the sun on their backs.
And that, my friends, is how it is with love.
Let us all be Dinosaurs and Lovely Other Dinosaurs together.
For the sun is warm.
And the world is a beautiful place.”

What readings are you doing for your ceremony? Have any readings stood out to you in weddings that you’ve attended?

Sometimes as I read through all the blogs and hear the stories of other weddings, I wonder “Am I doing this right? Should I have spent less money here? Should I add in this detail?” Lately, the biggest thing has been guilt of “Am I spending too much? Am I a bridezilla? Do I deserve this?” There’s nothing that has really changed in our plans or actions to make me feel this way, but perhaps the worry of how others perceive me.

As I read through my google reader I came across two posts at A Practical Wedding and East Side Bride that seemed to voice some of the concerns I was having. It seems like there has been this shift from celebrating and admiring the budget savvy bride to adding in the extra subtle step of judging those spend more on their weddings. I don’t think this is always intentional, but sometimes it inferred in comments that are expressed.

We are beyond blessed to have a big family and an incredible community of friends and we want them at our wedding. Does this make the wedding bigger and thus mean a larger venue, more meals, etc. equaling a bigger budget? Yes, but I wouldn’t change that. I should not feel guilty or that I need to justify the cost. But why do I? Even now I feel like I should tell you that my budget isn’t out of control, that I’ve found good deals and I’m not being over the top. I’m not going to though, because that would be giving in to the feeling I’m trying to avoid.

Ultimately I see our wedding as the celebration of our joy and love with the amazing friends and family we are blessed to have in our lives. Our goal is that all of our guests can celebrate, have fun and walk away knowing us better as a couple. However, there still is the desire to put on a beautiful event that reflects us a couple and allows us to share with those we love. I love event planning and enjoy putting time, sweat and tears into details that I may be the only one to notice. Our wedding is right for us. It’s not over the top or under spent. It’s a day that will reflect us and invite others to share in that.

I need to step away from the desire to compare and worry. What is right and perfect for one person may not be right for another. As I’ve been reading through the real budget posts, I’ve been able to reminisce about the beautiful weddings that all the bees have had. Each person has a different budget, uses it in a different way and in the end I still admire, “ooo” and “ahh” over each one in the recaps. But my “oos” and “ahhs” don’t necessarily come from how much was spent or not spent. The admiration comes from the thought, personality and love in each picture and detail and the celebration of the memory from the journey I followed along with for so many months.

I hope I didn’t come off harshly or offend anyone. It just feels good to get some of those thoughts off my chest and alleviate some pressure I’ve been feeling. Thanks to Meg at A Practical Wedding and East Side Bride for easing some of my thoughts and helping me move past some of these feelings. Can anyone else relate to feeling guilty or questioning something due to the worry of perception?

Lately I have been doing a lot of research on florists and flowers. I’d say in all of wedding planning, floral is definitely one of my weaknesses. I have a hard time keeping plant alive (I’ve had a bamboo plant since August and I am thrilled…). I don’t really know names, seasons, color varieties etc. Since I basically have no baseline knowledge I’ve been looking for pictures online.

I’m really starting to lean toward the idea of clustering multiple vases and vessels that hold the flowers. I love the variety of textures and sort of eclectic/rustic look you can achieve.

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Obviously the color and types of flowers in these pictures are all over the place. I’ve been leaning towards raspberry flowers for the bridal bouquets that can pop against blue dresses. However, there are some cornflower blue colors that could go nicely? I’ll save types of flowers for another post, until then send me your suggestions

I could see collecting all sorts of blue mason jars and/or china to put flowers in and having them clustered at the different tables with lots of candlelight.

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Do you have any advice for my lack of flower expertise?

Sometimes I go on overload with all the amazing wedding inspiration and ideas that are out there. For our wedding I definitely had some ideas of what I wanted, but had been struggling with how to put it together. Our venue has this beautiful rustic Tuscan feel with gorgeous outdoor greenery. For the wedding we want it to be rustic and simple with lots of whimsical and romantic details. Now I see lots of things that fit into those criteria, but still end up all over the place when it comes to colors and feel.

When I first started blogging, I “met” Anne from The City Sage blog. Anne is so helpful and supportive and it has been such a pleasure getting to know her. Anne has this amazing eye for design and always finds the most inspiring images. When she offered awhile back to create an inspiration board for our wedding, I jumped at the opportunity. I told Anne about what I had envisioned and different things that I liked, but I was having a hard time putting it on one board. Anne just sent me the inspiration board over the weekend and I LOVED what she put together. I wanted to share it with you all because I am just drooling over all the images.

Row 1: Karen Collins via This Is Glamorous, Cox and Cox via Simply Natural, French Style via This Is Glamorous, Ami McKay via Desire to Inspire
Row 2: Emilie Inc., Jose Villa, Ditte Isager, Rebecca Thuss
Row 3: Tim Evan Cook, Lucas Allen, Braedon Flynn via Once Wed, Paul Lowe
Row 4: Marie Claire Maison via Coco and Kelly, Martha Stewart Weddings, Hello Handmade Paperie via Snippet and Ink, The Knot

Part of what I love about Anne’s blog is the beautiful imagery and emotion she evokes with her words. When I asked if she would be willing to let me post the board, I also asked for a quote to describe her work. Here is what she had to say…

“Miss Duckling* came to me with a color palette of white, grey, navy, french blue and raspberry, and she wanted a stronger idea of how the palette should guide her as the wedding comes together. Miss Duckling has a very refined aesthetic sensibility but she’s also one of the friendliest brides you’ll meet in blogland–so I really wanted her inspiration board to reflect this balance of sophistication and approachability.

As I compiled the images, navy blue fell by the wayside and it became clear that French blue would provide the bridge between the two qualities I sought. French blue can be utterly luxe–as on a piece of Royal Copenhagen porcelain–or humbly radiant, as in the petals of a cornflower. Cool white and soft grey set a serene foundation, and bright raspberry provides a playful pop. I also considered the outdoor setting of Miss Ducklings’s ceremony and allowed snippets of green foliage to sneak in. The result is an inspiration board in which continental elegance meets garden romance. I can’t wait to see where Miss Duckling goes from here!”

Aren’t those images just beautiful? I especially love the bouquet and cake! This board definitely puts together so many of the elements that I want to infuse throughout the wedding. Thanks so much to Anne for putting this stunning inspiration board together and for your sweet words above!

Have you also had a hard time allowing your vision to come together? What do you do to find unity in all the ideas and inspiration out there?

Sorry my posts have been slow this week, there is a lot going on! I will fill you all in on the details of everything very soon, so thanks for being patient with me.

One of the things I’ve been working on is researching florists for the wedding. I’m not very knowledgeable when it comes to flowers, so I’ve been slowly learning and researching more. Yesterday I was reading WeddingbeePRO and came across this great post by Nancy from Nancy Liu Chin Designs. She broke down all the different components of flowers that you need and how to best research what you looking for. She also talks about how to approach the florists.

Here’s a blurb from the post:
“A floral arrangement is a hand crafted, custom product and it varies in price. The components in pricing wedding flowers are:

- Creativity
- Quantity and Quality
- Seasonality of flowers
- Color of the flowers
- Holidays - supply of certain flowers during peak holidays increase
- Fixed costs of a business
- Labor and design costs
- Delivery and setup
- Materials
- Props, Rentals, Containers, Supplies
- Customer Service
- Exclusivity of a Designer
- Travel Costs
- Location”

This was exactly what I needed since I’ve been researching florists recommended by Courtney and other sources all week.

I wanted to know more so I commented on her post with this:
“Thanks for sharing all this information. I’m currently researching florists and had no idea where to start when I contact them. Would it be a good idea to send an email and answer some of those questions when I initially contact the florist?”

Sure enough I check my email later in the day, and Nancy had emailed me back! How amazing is that? I was so surprised and grateful! Here is what she said:

“IMO, I think that all brides should do some research. Go to the websites that I recommended. Look at the flowers. Flip through magazines. Get some idea of what you are looking at.
Then search the florists in your area. Look for the details. Pinpoint 3 to 5 florists that you want to meet. I personally think that meeting with more than 3 is just too many. When I got married, I saw 4 people and that was confusing enough. I might have contacted 5 but I only made an appointment to see 4 of them. And frankly, I could have only seen 3!

Finally, if you really really like a florist, try to build a great relationship from the beginning. Don’t try to “nickle and dime” them. Because just as you have a choice in selecting a floral designer or florist, they have the right to work with whom they want. It’s one of the hardest lessons in life but one I learned early. Be kind. Be nice. Be direct. If you cannot afford the florist that you want, be honest with them and tell them where you need to be. Make them try to find creative solution but don’t do it in a way that they think you are negotiating.
Also, try not to pick the florist that you want b/c of price unless they meet both of your criterias….I have had many friends who select their florist b/c of price, not because of their creativity. It took more energy to explain what they wanted in the end. Ultimately, they might have gotten the flowers at a great price but the look was just not right.”

Thanks Nancy!!

All photos from Ritzy Bee Blog

Looks like I have some work to do right? I’m definitely using Nancy’s tips and I will keep you updated with how it goes. I just thought I’d share the useful information and show you just how awesome the wedding blog community can be when you ask a question.

Have you found your florist? What was helpful in your search?

Alright, let’s be real how many wedding magazines have you bought thus far? I am not even sure I can count. Plus, I “inherited” a pile from one of my best friends who got married shortly after our engagement. I definitely have my favorite magazines. I’ve found that some magazines are so full of advertisements and other random things that they aren’t too useful. The websites and blogs I’ve discovered seem to be more useful and original than what I find in magazines. But I still can’t resist when Martha Stewart Weddings comes out along with some others.

In the pile of magazines there is one that has stood out to be the most useful, readable and practical. Real Simple Weddings has to be one of my favorite finds since I started wedding planning. It’s like an easy, dummy-proof wedding manual. They just came out with their 2nd issue (I think they publish once a year) and it is just as wonderful as the first.

One one of the best things is that Crate and Barrel is the only advertiser in the pages, so the publication is clean and easy to read.

From engagement to reception to flowers, the magazine is divided into every area you possibly plan for your wedding. There are most common questions for each area, like budget, bridal party flowers and then useful charts. For a non-flower knowledge person like me they have a super useful chart that breaks down type of flower with its colors, seasons, durability, cost etc.

For those that like lists and charts, they have charts in the magazine that can also be downloaded online. There is suggested lists for registry, photo must haves and vendor questions.

One of my favorite features in general for magazines and blogs is “Real Wedding,” which are throughout the this issue as well.

All Photos from Crate & Barrel

I’ve given a copy to all of my friends who have recently gotten engaged because I think its such a great start to your planning. I kind of use it as a reference and for some extra tips as I reach different areas of the wedding process. Also, go check out the Real Simple website for more tips, downloadable checklists and ideas.

Have you gotten a copy yet? What has been your favorite planning tool find?

I’ve told you about my philosophy of picking vendors, my amazing coordinator and why I need to ask for help. What I’ve haven’t share with you yet is who my fabulous photographer is. I guess I should probably tell you how I met him.

I actually knew about Mike’s photography well before Mr. Ducky and I were engaged. Several mutual friends and acquaintances in the few years have gotten married and used his photography. Due to the social networking of Facebook and seeing tagged pictures of my friends, I got linked to his website and was completely amazed. The photography I found on his site caught my attention and I was instantly impressed.

Last summer I had the honor of being a bridesmaid in the wedding of one of my best friends. The day of the wedding I was able to meet Mike and his beautiful wife, Rachel. Mike and Rachel got there early in the morning as we were getting ready and were taking pictures all day and all night long. I can’t say enough about this couple other than they are a blessing and an inspiration to be around. They just became part of the group as we laughed, snacked and prepared the bride for her big moment. Mike and Rachel’s love for one another is present in their work and I think that it makes the end result better. I felt like I was able to get to know them both and that they were people who I would want to spend time with. They were exactly the people that I wanted on our team.

I’m beyond excited that I get to have Mike as my photographer and feel so blessed that we will get to know he and Rachel more in the coming months. Mr. Ducky and I are getting our engagement photos done soon and I’m already anxiously anticipating a fun day of photography, getting to know Mike and Rachel and getting a step closer to our wedding.

Now for small peak at the incredible photography.

And for the most crazy thing that Mike does…he literally throws his camera in the air to get this picture. What!?!

I can’t even come close to fitting all the amazing images on here. So please go check out the Mike Larson website and blog to see more!

Do you ever get really excited when you see pictures with your wedding colors or a similar vision to what you are trying to pull off? Well I’m always looking for someone to use colors similar to ours, because I don’t see the combination very often. In fact lately, I’ve been getting nervous if it is even a good idea or if my vision is too complicated or far off. For our color palette I’ve wanted French Blue and Deep Raspberry Pink/Burgundy with Navy and Gray accents.

And then I saw this picture of the “Classic” tablescape yesterday on WeddingbeePRO and got excited when sure enough there was the french blue that I have been talking about paired with a burgundy color.

THEN…I got even more excited when I was catching up with posts on Elizabeth Anne Designs and saw a post from Amanda with these pictures!! It’s the french blue I’ve been hoping to use paired with a burgundy. Our burgundy might have a slightly more pink undertone, but basically that is it! I was so excited that I had to come and share the pictures with you.

Thanks Amanda for the amazing pictures and design!

All pictures from Elizabeth Anne Designs

Using these colors we are going for a simple, rustic look with whimsical details.

Do you ever have this happen? Do you have any inspiration pictures that you could pass on to me?

It is so important to be able to step back and ask for help when we need it. It is what will keep us sane in life and from going on overload. (This is my inner therapist talking, it is a whole different ballgame taking my own advice) This same concept of asking for help applies to wedding planning. Since I already shared with you about my amazing coordinator, I want to fill you in on why I thought it was so important to find someone to help with that day.

I love event planning. I’ve been doing it for years and Mark has as well. Before deciding to become a therapist I thought seriously about wedding planning. I couldn’t wait to plan my own wedding if for no other reason than I would get to plan a major event and all its details. However, I knew that I without question wanted a day of coordinator.

Why is this? Experience. Two years ago Mark and I helped plan our best friends’ wedding. It was a backyard wedding in Malibu and it was beautiful! The wedding reflected them as couple with Beatles ceremony music, Sprinkles cupcakes, DIY centerpieces and floral and trivia during dinner. I was a bridesmaid and the stand-in wedding planner and I don’t think I sat down once that day. I didn’t get a chance to soak in all our hard work or catch up with out of town friends. Even if something wasn’t going on I was anticipating the next moment I would be needed or a vendor was coming to ask me one question or another. Now this was totally okay. They were on a $10,000 budget and I loved being able to give that gift to my friend. However, I learned that you can’t do it all as the bride and if one of your guests does it they won’t be able to truly relax and enjoy the celebration.

I’ve heard similar experiences from friends and stress falling onto mother of the bride, bridesmaid or some willing friend. No matter how organized and on top of it you are, the day will be hectic and things will need to be taken care of.

I’m also a perfectionist (hey I admit it) and have a hard time just trusting someone random to take care of all the details and things I care about. I’m this way for group projects in school, planning events and probably even more so for my wedding. I knew that in order to FULLY let go of the control and trust another person to handle all the details I would need a professional that I trusted. Thus I found Courtney from Joyful Weddings and Events. If for some reason I couldn’t plan any part of my wedding I would without question have picked Courtney to do it for me. I trust her taste, abilities and talent, which means I will gladly hand the details over for the wedding when the time comes.

I ended up choosing the month-of package with Courtney after meeting with her. Courtney helps me create the time line for the wedding, contacts all my vendors for arrival time and last minute details, does a final walk-though with me at the site, gives vendor referrals and I can email or call her with any questions along the way. What a relief!

Do you absolutely have to hire a day of coordinator or planner etc? No. I know that it can be way out of budget for people and I think its a personal choice. You have to look at yourself and the people around you and evaluate what is best. For me personally, I knew that I would be much more relaxed and happier being able to hand the details off or I would not let go and worry all day. My mom is the same way and I didn’t want that to happen for the wedding. For me and our budget, finding someone to help was a major priority and I was willing to sacrifice other things.

If you are on a budget and there isn’t money, I absolutely believe that there are people who are more than willing to step up to the plate. As with all things there are so many untapped resources in your immediate network, you just have to ask. Just make sure you are as organized as possible and that duties are clearly assigned. (In the wedding that I was in this was not the case; plus some unexpected events such as the groom forgetting the rings led to more chaos…)

All Photos from The Knot

What about you? What was your thought process in whether or not to hire a day-of coordinator or even full wedding planner? Do you have a hard time asking for help and giving up control like me?

P.S. I think I need to devote a full recap to the wedding in Malibu. Just imagine lost rings, loose dogs, Sprinkles cupcakes, candlelight and Europe’s The Final Countdown playing in the background.

…Courtney from Joyful Weddings & Events is my month-of-coordinator!!

When I was looking for a day of coordinator I did lots of research to find vendors in my area. I emailed a lot of different people and met a few and talked with people I liked, but no one that I was really excited about or they were so far out of my budget there was no chance. (If you are an OC/SD person and want to hear more details about those vendors shoot me a message and I’d be happy to go into more detail)

Then I got an email from Courtney and she invited me to meet her at a bridal show she was doing in San Diego. I met her really briefly there and unfortunately couldn’t stay long, but based on her and her awesome booth I decided I wanted to meet with her again.

A great thing about Courtney is that she does weddings in both Orange County and San Diego, so I was able to meet her for coffee in Orange County after class one night. As we chatted back a forth at the local Starbucks I felt like I found a new friend! She seemed to just understand me and get what we wanted for the wedding. I loved hearing about her life, family and wonderful business. Our time flew by and at the end of it I felt like I had just found a new friend and most importantly someone I wanted on the team!

She knew all the wedding blogs that I mentioned and the different ideas that I had gotten from them. This was great, because I have gotten so much inspiration for wedding blogs etc. and some of the other coordinators I had met with had no idea what I was talking about. Another huge thing? She has a cricut!?! Yes I know, I’m a huge nerd. But I was so excited to find someone who actually knew what the cricut was and someone who could give me more ideas on how to use it for the wedding.

If you check out Courtney’s blog, you will see her amazing creativity and DIY projects for her own events. She has an awesome style that is fun, chic, whimsical and beautiful. Being a bride that plans on doing DIY projects, it was important that I find someone who also valued those details and believes in how they can make the wedding that much more special and meaningful. After meeting Courtney and connecting with her, I knew that I would be able to trust her with taking care of all my final details and that she would be able to handle of any crisis that happens that day. I felt like I could learn a lot from Courtney and that our wedding would be that much more special and memorable with her being a part of it.

Now for some eye candy from her wonderful weddings…

All Photos From Joyful Weddings & Events Blog

While I love wedding planning and wouldn’t give it up for the world, I know that if I had to choose someone to plan the whole wedding from start to finish, I would choose Courtney. I couldn’t be more excited to work with Courtney through this whole process and am thankful in advance that she will be putting up with me!

Aren’t you amazed by her work? If you haven’t yet check out her website and blog! Also, she just had one of her weddings featured in the latest Ceremonies magazine and on the WedddingbeePRO!

Now I know there are several of you that are wondering whether or not you need a day of/month of coordinator and if one is worth the cost. I want to give my thought behind that topic so I’ll try to share some of my thoughts in an upcoming post.